For those of you fed up with hearing my harrowing story about being chased by a bear, turn away now, ’cause it’s only going to get worse each time I tell it!
Yup. I was chased by a ferocious red-head-eating black bear on the weekend in Whistler. What’s that you say? How did I manage to get away from the jaws of death? Well pull up a chair and hang on to your hats ’cause it’s a scary tale. There aren’t any pictures…and you’ll find out why.
Our group of 13 adults and kids were heading back to our hotel after a raucus evening of dining and shopping. My girlfriend, Kim, and I decided to linger on a footbridge over a rushing creek while the rest of the group went ahead on the trail. She sprained her ankle badly the week before, so we had to take it easy on the walk back.
When we turned to leave the bridge, we noticed a couple backing off the end of the bridge away from us. They didn’t say anything (I could wring their necks), and their eyes were like saucers, so we turned around to see what they were looking at. That’s when we SAW THE BEAR RUNNING TOWARDS US ON THE BRIDGE!!!!!!!!
I took off running while screaming and flailing my arms in the air. Kim was left in my dust to fend for herself with her sprained ankle. All I could hear was her squeaking, “Don’t run. Don’t run!!!”
I realize that this story is not very flattering, and it’s makes me look untrustworthy, but I couldn’t help it. My instincts kicked in and everything I learned through years of watching Gentle Ben on TV went out the door! Apparently I can run faster than I ever imagined, ’cause I passed the whole group–whipping them in to a terrified frenzy.
No time, nor inclination, for photos!!!!!
Meanwhile, all the husbands (who think they’re pretty smart) and Kim (not by choice) stood their ground and simply watched the bear walk off into the bushes. One big group of bear bait in my opinion!!!!
All kidding aside, I’m glad to report that no bears were harmed in the production of this factual story!!!